future "the future," i sighed. the Future. stop holding my shoulders stop i look down at her sleeping body. the Future. i hear the hooves of your demons crushing our skulls. the Future. "you won't care if i die, will you, you monster" i spit it out. you shake your head. i don't want to cry, i don't want to cry again because of you. for the first time, you're something so ugly and hateable and. so big and bold and blind. where were you when i fell today? you were in front of me. why didn't you pick me up? where were those big hands of yours? why do i have to forgive you again and again and again and again and again and again and again and fuck you you never even apologized why does tomorrow have to be you why do i need to wake up to your back turned to mine why can't i kill one of us once and for all why are you laughing i hate your filthy smile stop holding my hands in yours you weren't there when i fell you weren't there when i stopped breathing you weren't there when i decided to die you weren't there when she ran away stop looking at my elbow injuries stop spraying that goddamned dynapar i'll bang it on your head bloody i don't care, die you monster go to hell good night for all i care, and for all you care, you sleep next to her and in the same bed as i do i take two medicines for the night, alongwith a painkiller. i don't want to live with you. i look at her closed eyes. i wish i could see my eyes with my own eyes i am ashamed. i was the Future. i never made it